FACEBOOK QUOTE

Why did the fish get kicked out of school?  Cause he was caught with seaweed. 
- Especially if you’re in High School too, you know that if you do the crime, you need to do the time.

Last night I had an argument with my wife – she asked me what was on the TV and i said ‘dust’.
- Some people marry someone because of their razor sharp wit and comedy. Some don’t.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your front porch? Matt
- One of the funniest jokes of all time.

What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen
One of the (other) funniest jokes of all time.

Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).
I have about 20 very religious people on my Facebook list, and each of them would be disgusted to hear this. That’s what I’m hoping anyway!

A fool is a 27 story window-washer who steps back to admire his work.
- Or the javelin catcher, harpoon tester…

I souport publik edekasion 
- I don’t really understand why this one is funny – is there a spelling mistake?

Honk if you want to see my finger.
- For real. I mean – some people have no sense…they go straight for the horn. Seriously. Don’t.

Honk if you have never seen an uzi fired from a car window. 
- OK! I reloaded!

So many pedestrians – So little time. 
The GTA generation finally get representation in Facebook quotes!

It’s better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all.
- Got any low self-esteem friends? Paste this on their Facebook walls!

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.
This couldn’t be truer than where I work (in the zoo).

These are all the funny Facebook quotes for today. I hope you find some to use and get some nice comments or likes. Stay cool!